The Darkness of Doubt

The more she tries to hide it

fight it

it haunts her

and taunts her

until she doesn’t want to be her

The one she has become

not anymore

The girl who doesn’t trust

loves on conditions

terms and provisions

Runs from a problem

and can’t admit it

The unknown is too much

for her to control

Her heart is a pendulum

back and forth

hot then cold

seeking solace

then stirring things up

squinting at dawn

after swinging though dusk

She craves to love wholeheartedly

one day

before her heart freezes over

To be familiar with feelings

free of restrictions

and the strings that hold her down

Free of childish insecurities

and the darkness of doubt

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Crazy Heart

You’re feet found solace

but they’re losing their hold

You keep one foot

in front of the other

so nobody knows

the ground has begun to quake

beneath your soles

Not trusting your own shadow

has allowed you to stumble

So you’re searching for new routes

new avenues

and stepping over cracks

Because you don’t want to impose

be in the way

or hold anyone back

***

Life has a way

of shaking you up

waking you up

Tapping you on the shoulder

making you think

making you wonder

Should you be here?

Should you stay?

Should you go?

Or

should you wait

for everything to fall apart

in its own way?

Cause your own destruction, perhaps

and lose a good thing

Bring about the end

a bit prematurely

because you’re convinced

everything does come loose

eventually

in the end

And you can flee from the ruins

all in good time

and all on your own

Because alone you are safe

you think

But

think once more

crazy heart

before you run

The Value of a Tear

Seeking inspiration

through the cracks

and pulling back

what I don’t understand

Telling myself, all the while

who I am, who I am

The voice within

made stronger in the void

reaffirmed

bouncing back

resonance above the storm

Trickling of words

pooled around my feet

darkened drops upon a cheek

Clenching my sorrows

within my palms

holding them tight

remaining calm

because

I can see within the eye

a pause between smiles

is no reason to give in

But, more so

a chance for motivation

giving the fire inside

Inspiration

Passion

Drive

Recognizing the value of a tear

and the weight

of what put it there

Embers ignite

showing the dark days

I can appreciate their ways

every once in a while

I can smile through the cracks

tomorrow

looking back

way back

before the dawn

Awakened by a tear

the fires still burn

embers of past verve

Courage

Grounded

in most ways

her thoughts,

they’re solid

But stranded in limbo

most days

her heart,

it wanders

Back and forth

seeking solace

Knows all too well

the dark secrets

upon him

Coming apart

behind closed doors

but never giving up

in time, moving on

Because determined

and unwavering

in every form

her soul

Outlasting her pain

making her strong

She is who she is

A girl who’s loved disaster

with the courage to let go

Craves what is lost

but knows to move on

Untouched

Part of her wanted to know

but a piece already knew

He wasn’t for her

Not the one

But he made her smile

made her laugh

made her want

made her forget

the world was spinning

Time paused

But it was clear

as the hands of time

caught up

The world rushing by

Curiosity and life

He could make her smile

a normal kind of love

And that was enough

to recognize

emotions restricted

and limited

He couldn’t be the one

because

he couldn’t make her cry

Hey You

Hey you,

Do you bury your darkness?

the darkness within

Or do you pretend?

Feign the shadows aren’t there?

Not a dark cloud in sight

No troubles,

nothing to fear

The whispers

too soft to listen

too faint to be real

But they’re there my dear

Pay attention, you’ll hear

genuine reminders

we’re not perfect

not free from sin

No one is

 

Do you acknowledge your weaknesses?

Or disregard their appeal?

Defeat

doesn’t mean we’re weak

substandard

or inferior

Just means the climb is higher

on the road back up

Redemption is near

Feel the ground

Go ahead my friend

consider your path

 

Determined

to find

a resolution

to confusions

sorting out your vices

Smirking at your shadows

fading in their silence

back in their

corners

reliance

on you

and your direction

Avenues are lit

Hey You

Original

Delighting senses

a heart, overgrown

A young soul, vibrant

with peaceful undertones

Noticeably dissimilar

to the world outside

Two feet beyond

conventional nuance

Inimitable methods

branding unique

A diamond among glass

don’t change a thing

A heart like yours

few and far between

Unusual

Rare

completely unaware

how wonderful you are

just being yourself

in a world

doing its best

to make you

like everyone else

Blur

Blur

imaginary lines

between reality

impracticality

LIFE

Two different sides

neither wrong

both right

Dreams in color

painted skies

fantastical unwinds

Feel it all

but don’t fall

into the dark pages

of your life

bleak words

line after line

Blur the edges

let the kid inside

smile

once in a while

Look at the world

through your heart

Watch your colors

come together

Shape the blur

embrace your dreams

They’re who you are

and who you’ll be

Amen

Fascinated,

her heart

fond of the sparks

like a moth

chasing the flames

But one day,

she’ll realize her mistakes

discover her pain

learn to let go

when it’s too hot to hold

onto the blaze

 

Seeking flight

to save her wings

Departing the ashes

arising

from her knees

Damage reversed

with single a word

Amen

 

So be it

not a moth

but a girl

No more urge to be

misplaced in the world

or afraid of the dark

A soul in good company

embracing her light

holding on tight

with a fireproof heart

Alter Girl

I try

I try

and I try

to be the better me

Not to be selfish

to set my wants free

But I struggle

and debate

battle and wage

with an alter girl

determined to pull the pin

out of my calm, collected world

 

Good sense is in attendance

incessantly ever-present

but continually underused

becoming ignored

falling faint

inaudible and indistinct

while her voice is telling me,

Relax

lose your doubts

speak up quiet girl

reach out

Who else knows what you want?

 

Back and forth we go

jumping over the rabbit hole

a childish game

with grown up rules

I know she’s right

even when she is wrong

I look in the mirror

Is she the captive?

Or is it me?

When we’re both wanting free