The Darkness of Doubt

by lynnkennison

The more she tries to hide it

fight it

it haunts her

and taunts her

until she doesn’t want to be her

The one she has become

not anymore

The girl who doesn’t trust

loves on conditions

terms and provisions

Runs from a problem

and can’t admit it

The unknown is too much

for her to control

Her heart is a pendulum

back and forth

hot then cold

seeking solace

then stirring things up

squinting at dawn

after swinging though dusk

She craves to love wholeheartedly

one day

before her heart freezes over

To be familiar with feelings

free of restrictions

and the strings that hold her down

Free of childish insecurities

and the darkness of doubt